I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m running around all these people in my life. They’re all standing in the middle, waiting for me to make a straight line and I can’t do anything but circle.
I have issues. Real, honest committment issues. I don’t get it. I don’t want it. I don’t need it. It’s horrifyingly awful that I don’t understand it. People want other people. People ask to be it, final, all. They want to be it, this to be it, and nothing else. They don’t want anything else. Just one, for the rest of forever. Maybe not even forever, maybe just right now.
I look at tomorrow, and I know that there must be more. I beg that there is, for then I am not wrong. I am right. I am further. I am more. I am wide. I am expansive. Extreme. Infinite.
I pray to the God I don’t believe in: Don’t let this be it. Please, don’t let this be it. And I’m sorry.
